the decision to change.

If you follow me on Facebook or Instagram or any type of social media outlet; then you know that I’ve decided to personally challenge myself and turn my life upside down regarding work outs and making my health a priority. The biggest thing for me with this challenge is it had to be something completely and whole-heartedly for myself. I wanted the change. And I was tired of not being me.

If you didn’t know, now you do. 😉

At the beginning of June I challenged myself to go to the gym every single day and create the habit of a lifestyle change. Although I gave my very best effort to stick with this challenge, illness and time were not always on my side and I believe about 3 or 4 days were missed out of my 30 day quest. However, rather than looking at my few days short as a failure I am motivated to keep moving forward to get my life back.

I want BIG change in my life.

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To be completely vulnerable for almost my entire married life (4 years) I’m embarrassed to see the results of heartache, depression, stress, loss, and new ventures weigh on my waistline… literally.

Ugh!

Anytime I would look in the mirror, my pain was on display for everyone to see whether they knew it or not. As hard as that is to say, it’s the truth and I knew I couldn’t keep living an obstructed life anymore. I have went up and down with my weight for many years and after moving out and going to college I never wanted the weight of my high school days and the very unhealthy habits of skipping meals in order to keep myself in check to be tethered to my life again. During some tiring moments of my adolescent years I let the opinions of boyfriends and comparison dictate my health and steal my joy.

I am a woman filled with dreams and adventures that are BIG for this life and come from a very BIG God. I know that my  obedience to taking care of myself will allow me to serve God with more liberty in areas that maybe I was more insecure in. I’m a work in progress and only want God to rule my heart and to be tethered to Him is my desire. I’m striving toward living a balanced life, emotionally, spiritually, and physically. I want to give God my everything and have Him ask of me anything. I want Him to mold me and change me from the inside out. To clean out all the not so great parts of my heart and tune my heart’s ear to hear His voice more clearly.

My decision to change needs to be centered on obedience and living my best life to serve Him. There’s something beautiful and unique about surrender and it can truly bring about our real character and move us into a new chapter or era of our lives we never dreamed to venture into.  Change in many ways can be difficult but all the more rewarding. The decision for me to change is something I will continue to seek out and grapple after.

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